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Stainglass

What shape is a scream deafened inside the hollow

What color the mourning terror across the moor

Stainglass surrenders to the dawn & lays across her lap

Her heart withdraws with the echo’s timed collapse

A curtain drawn, a moment of stillness suspires

The shape climbs the parapet and cradles its crave

Sharp tongues pepper and salt the barren air

A whistle, like a hanging weapon, tempts and threats

Still she hunts in her mind for the words that will make

A fondness swallow an abyss.

Trauma cannot live by moonlight

The canals are somnolent and still

Inside a candle pulses with the courtship

His empty thrusts, nonetheless devoured by her

Grief-stricken moans. This is sick potion-making,

The only real sorcery available, the serpent of empty

Lust grabbing the tail end of morbid decay &

Ringing an empty promise from the jaws of time.

It is senseless, and yet it will be felt with all the senses.

At last his head drops like a shamed executioner.

It is August in a field of wild grass and the boy charges

Through like a summer wind

His energy is scythe-like, he reaps and sows

Joy and sorrow in the other children with deliberate intent

There was never any father & so he devours & his appetite

Never understands hunger or humility

He climbs onto the golden rocks and looks down on the valley

And his heart sings to create enough destruction to hide his shadow

To hide what he does not know, to hide what he fears

The shape of his mother’s resignation as the sky

Walks the light to bed and blows the candle out.

He has dealt death and he does not know why.

He has set fire to the defeated because he was paid for smoke.

He shamed women because he was curious how long it would last.

He mocked fate like it was an absent father.

As his caresses became more callous than care

His wife’s downturned body reminds him

There is a crease in his confidence and a tattered page

Reveals itself, bookmarked by someone he long forgot

Shining like the sun, it cracks the midnight dark

It fans the stain-glass and reveals a moment

A pure tear, the dew of a love wider than time

Waiting, just waiting, oh without you.

He climbs the steps, a pained echo in his heart

Finally he recognizes the tether that has been

His entire being and life a cast silver thread into the dark river

He stoops, he kneels, he comes to his paws on the stone

Looking out his breath comes out like clouds from a tiny god

But there is no earth below, only stone slabs, cold & maternal

They push against him, pleading him to go higher

Was it the only direction home? Seeking a precipice that seemed to disown him?

A rabble gathers below, they motion to him and start to rise

As if from an underworld of his creation, his fears and hatreds

Their voices start to crow and crackle, they thunder & shine

& before they arrive his head falls, as if surrender was divine.

Time herself crosses that field of wild grass

Time and all her sunken regrets, carrying a bouquet

Heavy is the head that wears the crown

Heavier still the hand that picks it back up

Heaviest the grave where nobility is etched

Seasons change, yet she remains still, locked in eternal embrace

With what?

What it is to have, best understood in loss

What it is to lose, best left unsaid

And yet those unspoken words, like memory’s child

Will bury her time into the cool dark ground.

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