A Guide on Aged Care Conversation

The best time to have that difficult conversation is before you need it. Because changing health or mental conditions are fraught with a variety of emotions, having this discussion while everyone is lucid and calm helps lead to the best results. If you wait until there’s an obvious need for aged care, your parents will be frightened and upset, and you’ll feel the pressure to quickly establish an appropriate level of care. This is not a good state under which to make these potential life changing decisions.

The key is to make sure your parents and you are on the same page legally and emotionally about how to live later years without money worries and that your parents’ wishes are followed when they can no longer make decisions on their own.

Here are 6 conversations you should have the sooner, the better.

Hopefully, your parents have made a will and can share that with you. Make sure your parents’ wishes are fully spelled out, such as how they want assets divided, etc. Go over their will and make sure there aren’t any vague or abstract sections that leave too much open for interpretation.

If they don’t have a will, now is the time to get it done. Choose an attorney who specializes in wills and estate planning. The will should cover who is executor, who will hold power of attorney, and reflects your parents’ current wishes about how the estate is to be distributed.

Another consideration during this discussion is how safe your parents’ home is. Will you need to make modifications to make sure it’s safe and comfortable for someone with limited abilities and/or mobility? Is there money in the budget for this?

This is another difficult subject, but can free you from the burden and heartache of having to make this decision on your own. Have your parents write out or dictate to you what life support services they want and don’t want. How do they want to be cared for at the end of their lives?

Make sure this is detailed as vague instructions will still leave you to make the difficult decisions. You want end-of-life decisions made by your parents before something happens.

Talk about specifics. Do they want donations made in lieu of flowers to their favourite charities? Do they even want a memorial service? How do they wish these final acts to be carried out?

You’ll specifically need to know names and numbers of their doctors and any specialists. Also include financial and legal professionals on the list. Do your parents have an accountant or an insurance agent handling matters for them?

Being able to consult with your parents’ doctors and specialists during an emergency can offer you better peace of mind and understanding of their medical needs.

Finally, have your parents gather all the following documents and keep them in a safe location at home.

Want a little more guidance on tackling this big discussion? Simply Google “aged care conversation.” You’ll find plenty of resources available to help you start the conversation and keep it going.

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